Kindness is all…

Kindness by Naomi Shihab Nye, 1952

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to gaze at bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

From Words Under the Words: Selected Poems. Copyright 1995 by Naomi Shihab Nye.  Naomi Shihab Nye, 1952.

Gratitude and Me?

Oh My Gosh!  Do you think when Abraham Lincoln dedicated the third Thursday of November to giving thanks he knew how much we would need a day to consider how fortunate we are?  In my opinion we could especially benefit by counting and considering our blessings considering how divisive our recent  election and the state of the world. It is chilling that I can go to bed and sleep when I KNOW there are people struggling to survive – and likely in my own neighborhood. I am fortunate, and some are not. It was Henry David Thoreau who wrote “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. ” I think that is obvious during the hectic and often stressful Holiday season. The recent election added a bucketload of anxiety to the Holiday Stress Mix.

The Holiday Season will be a difficult time for many. While for some the holidays are filled with warm memories and traditions which have traveled through the generations., for others this time of the year is filled with loneliness and struggles just to make ends meet. The holiday season sometimes brings an escalation of the struggles of many: violence in the home… many of our friends and family may be struggling with addiction…. And Poverty is its own form of abuse. I think Poverty deserves its own capital “P”…Something you can’t imagine if you have never been there. Holidays bring  more stress and despair, and many may feel lost and alone.  Homeless shelters fill to overflowing,.. and some of our brothers and sisters struggle to stay warm and have long ago lost contact with their family of origin.

If you are fortunate enough to be working, or raising your children in a nice home with heat and a full refrigerator do something to show your gratitude this year!  Volunteer somewhere at least one day a week, or a few hours a week. Consider the hospitals, the assisted living homes, the special needs of people who can’t read…teach them, reach them and read to them. Go to the children’s wards and read or play with the children. The quickest was to cure depression and loneliness is to do something for someone else. And if you are fortunate and want to show your gratitude,  add a place at your table and invite someone who is alone to share your good fortune. A friend of mine sent me this link for Giving Circles, which is a GRAND idea. https://shar.es/18wIAC

Like all of you, I have friends who are struggling mightily.  One lifelong friend is sliding downhill with dementia and I miss her this Christmas. She was always here to celebrate with us. I have another who is struggling with cancer and I worry about her every single day. Like you, I have minor struggles in my own life, and I am learning to be grateful for the struggle. Sometimes it is that very struggle that gives meaning to life.

I come from a large family. I am the middle of five children. They are all back on the East Coast and I am here, and I miss them every single day of my life. I have a son and daughter-in-law and two teen grandchildren who live in St. Louis. I miss them every day. And Carlos and Ricky, my other son and grandson, I miss them terribly too.  I miss the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Everyone but my husband and myself is gone this year. I will read a book. I will be grateful to my first grade teacher who taught me to read. I will cook a delicious meal and be grateful to my mother for teaching me how to do that.

The only difference between me and someone exhausted with poverty and depression is an accident of birth. I’m going to get up off the sofa and reach out this Holiday Season. I want to live in gratitude.  Carpe Diem before it’s gone. Quickly now, before we miss it altogether.